Morgan approached Charles with all the fuming emotion of a thundering storm cloud, her eyes hard and her mouth downturned.

"... I'm so disappointed in you," she said softly, "In all of us, but I already talked to Sora."

She approached and nudged Charles' gently, "Are you okay?"

Wait, what?

Morganite stared him down and worked her jaw, clearly waiting for an answer. She didn't want to tear into him if he wasn't emotionally okay. It would backfire and chase him off rather than actually teach him a lesson. Right now? They all really just needed comfort.

"I'm here for you," she mumbled, "Like I always have been. If you need to cry or to yell and scream, I'm here. I love you."

She wrapped a massive paw around the bird and lay down, ears against her head. She nuzzled into his feathers softly, brows drawn up in sorrow.

@Charles

He was crouched against the wall, feathers fluffed up as if he were cold, eyes staring at nothing. He was tired, he was so tired but he couldn't sleep. He'd tried, but the second he'd dissolved into unconsciousness he saw them, dying again, melting away in front of his eyes and he was locked to the ground, not by magic or by air but by his own cowardice. They died and he lived and it wasn't fair and he was still so angry at those Bonebound, but the anger was simmering back, controllable, reasonable, and it made everything he'd done and said so much worse in the forefront of his mind.

His eyes flicked up as Morganite approached, flinching at the tone of her voice. She...she was going to yell at him too. She was going to be angry and tell him everything he'd done wrong, tell him that he'd been stupid and that he'd only made everything worse and he didn't wanted to hear that because he knew how horrible it had been and if he had one more person yelling at him today...he didn't know if he could take it. For once, words escaped him. He lowered his head, trying to prepare for the scolding.

But she surprised him with her gentle nudge and her soft concern. Eyes widened as he looked up at her, long ears unfolding from where they were pressed against his head. His beak opened to say something, but all that came out was a strangled chirp. He quickly snapped it shut and swallowed heavily, trying to get his voice back. Why was it so hard, especially after all of that screaming he'd just done?

After a second of struggling, he managed to rasp out a sound. "I'm...I'm just....no, I'm not okay. I can't...I can't think. It's all just...it's all too much I don't know...it hurts so much." He let out a strangled sob and then Morganite was pulling him close, a paw wrapped around his body, muzzle pressing into his feathers and the dam broke.

His body was trembling violently with the strength of his sobs as he broke. "It's not f-fair! It's not fair that they d-died and I did n-nothing! I'm weak and I watched them die and I th-thought...I thought th-that...that if they knew w-what had happened they would t-take it seriously and it wouldn't have to happen to anyone else! I d-didn't know that hybrid was his d-daughter, I d-didn't know it would t-turn out like that but...when he started yelling and c-cursing and telling us th-that he was hurting m-more I just...I got so angry I just...I couldn't th-think because it hurt so much and I j-just...I wanted him to hurt too and it just started coming out and I couldn't stop it and..." his voice cracked there and he let out another strangled sob. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I can't believe...I'm sorry, Morgan, I'm sorry..." He just kept repeating apologies over and over as he huddled close to Morganite, clutching to her warmth as the waves threatened to overwhelm him again. They were boiling at the back of his consciousness, but he didn't try to push them away because at least Morgan was here this time. She wouldn't let him drown when they came.

@Morganite

Morgan hugged him to her chest and nuzzled his feathers, listening to him gush out the words like he was a waterfall. She curled up around him and tucked them into the small crook in the wall, stroking his feathers softly as he spoke and ranted, his little beady eyes wet with tears.

"Oh Charles," she said softly, no pity in her voice.

For she understood. She knew what he felt, the anger of leaving them there, the outrage at Eythan, the sorrow, the pain. All of it she understood.

"I'm here," she said softly, "I won't ever leave you."

She pulled the bird into her soft chest fur and held him close, ears down and head tilted to keep her nose to the top of his head.

"... We can only find comfort in the fact that they weren't alone. They sacrificed themselves for us. We need to cherish our new lives, for them," she said softly, "You don't have to be happy, Charles. Not until you're ready. But I'm here for you. I promise."

She wept for him, tears rolling down her snout and onto the ground.

"Don't lose yourself to this. Remember who you are," she mumbled, "You're Charles. My brother in everything but blood. A beautiful soul no matter how broken your heart is. You can get through this."

She believed in him.

@Charles

Content Warning
This post contains potentially sensitive material:

Panic Attack

Intense Depressive Episode

Suicidal Ideation

death

Morganite's soft stokes against his feathers didn't do much to calm Charles down, but it was comforting, warm. It helped him let it go when before he'd been fighting to keep it in. It felt better to release all of it here, with his family, instead of at strangers that were only growing more and more frustrated with them, strangers who were hurting and who would never understand why he was so angry...and he hoped that there would never come a day when they truly would.

He was breathing hard, shaking violently through his tears. Morganite's warmth was all around him now and he let himself be covered in her presence, because it was coming in again, the wave was washing through his mind and it was getting harder and harder to keep his feet. He couldn't see or breath or feel anything but the panic and despair that was burying him deeper and deeper, such horrible, violent emotions help off for so long, fought away during the Trial for the sake of survival, forcibly buried in the chrysalis, and pushed back in the immediate aftermath because they had to leave and then there was the Bonebound and he couldn't let himself drown just yet but now it was coming back. He could let himself go and let it take over.

He'd never cried so hard in his life - he'd never had a reason to. Their life in the cave might have been boring, but it was free of stress and tragedy. The worst he had to worry about was the boredom and the odd disagreement. But this, seeing so much death, experiencing so much loss, and so brutally and horribly...it would have driven anyone to the edge but to Charles, who had been nothing but soft and hopeful and free of all worries, it was like soaring into the sky, falling right into the middle of the chasm.

The panic attack was more intense then the one he'd had at the meeting and it lasted longer. He was in Morganite's arms for a while, bawling and shaking hard, babbling on and on because it was all he could do, his thoughts on an endless, uncontrollable stream. "I didn't want them to they shouldn't have had to I should have been stronger but I wasn't! I hid and I ran and I did nothing to help them and now they're dead because I did nothing for myself! I let them sacrifice themselves for me when I should have been the one saving them I wish I'd taken their place I wish I'd been braver they didn't deserve to die they shouldn't have died for me!! I miss them I miss them so much I feel like I'm dying it hurts I just wish it would stop hurting I can't take this I can't take this I hate this I just wish I could die but I can't I can't not when they're dead but I just wish it would stop hurting and I wish I could stop remembering I keep seeing them everywhere why did they have to die why did they have to die like that" It just wasn't stop. An endless stream of thoughts and emotions that had been building in the little bird since they walked out to face the trial.

And all the while he drowned, but Morganite's touch was like an anchor and he held onto her like a lifeline or else he'd be lost and he'd never come back up. He just clutched at her with his wings, beak, and the backs of his talons as he fell apart in her arms.

@Morganite

Morgan inhaled and clutched Charles like a teddy bear, gently rocking him back and forth as he fell apart. It was all she could do to hold and to comfort, keeping him together when he couldn't. When his claws dug into her fur and his beak yanked at it, she remained still. She wouldn't let him drown. She would give him air and hold him steady as the waves crashed over him, keeping him afloat.

"It won't be easy," she mumbled, "It won't stop hurting. But it won't be as bad. One day you can think of all the happy moments and feel happy instead of like crying."

"I'll help you, Charles," she said softly, brushing a paw over his slick feathers.

She was here. She believed in him. Her love for her brother wouldn't ever die. Not if she could help it.

You'll fly again. I'll be your wings until yours are healed, brother.

"I love you," she mumbled, ignoring how her fur dampened from his tears and her own. She'd dry.

Morgan was glad they were alone. A moment like this wasn't for anyone else. This moment was for Charles and her only. The sudden protectiveness concerned her, but she brushed it off. She'd concern herself with that when her brother wasn't having a panic attack on top of her.

@Charles

Charles rode out the rest of it listening to Morganite's soft voice and feeling her paws petting his feathers down gently, her warmth all around him, the beat of her heart so close to his ear. She's still alive. She wasn't dead. She was still here, breathing, her heart was beating and she was speaking to him, she was being so strong while he fell to his own weaknesses. Again. Just like he'd done in the Trial. He'd frozen up, he'd thought about himself, and he'd fallen apart. And, because of that, his siblings had sacrificed themselves. They'd died and he was left broken and bruised by his own mistakes.

And the realization that it could happen again hit him so suddenly it took what little breath he had right away. This might not be the Trials anymore, but these caves were still dangerous - the Bonebound meeting had proven that not everyone was a friend to them. And if he kept being weak, if he kept breaking down like this, then he'd...he'd drag them down with him again. And they'd get hurt or die and he'd be to blame. He couldn't let that happen, he couldn't let any of them die ever again.

He continued to cry because it still hurt, but at last he was calming down, letting go of his intense grip on Morganite, panting as he tried to regain a regular breathing pattern. "I love you too," he whispered through the tears still falling down his cheeks. "Sorry I...I'm...I think I'm okay now...or better at least..." He still trembled with the exertion of the emotions that were still pulsing through his head, only ghosts now, but the tide had finally washed away, leaving him exhausted and battered in its wake.

@Morganite

"Don't be sorry," she mumbled, "I forgive you."

Morgan shifted backwards and onto her haunches, gently holding Charles so that she could see him, "I'm glad you feel better. Once this is over, I'm going to talk to Pumpkin. I think you should too, we both owe him apologies for our outbursts."

She gently let him go but kept her arm around him, paw back on the ground, "The meeting went to Hell in a handbasket, honestly. It wasn't just you, it was all of us. Your behavior... I think you know what you did was wrong, so I won't talk about it anymore."

She sighed and nuzzled the top of his head, "But you need to rest, silly. You're all tuckered out now. You can sleep with me, if you want. I was going to nap anyway."

She smiled gently and lay down on her side, her soft, warm belly fur open for him to snuggle up in. Either way, she was going to lie down, she was tired.

@Charles

Charles nodded, feeling a twinge of guilt in his stomach. Pumpkin had left because of the things he'd been saying - the selfish, stupid things that he'd blurted out in a moment of hysteria and hurt. Now that he was calming down, his body was at last beginning to feel a bit of peace and rest, the absence of tension was suddenly filled up with guilt and regret. It was like a pit within his chest that threatened to swallow him whole, but...at least it was preferable to that horrible horrible pain. He'd take this any day.

"I...I'm sorry," he croaked again. "I didn't...I didn't want Pumpkin would leave. I didn't think I was upsetting him so much and...I should have stopped when he left. I should have seen how upset he was." His voice was hoarse and fragile, raw from crying and weak from his struggle to breathe. "I don't want to lose control like that. I feel...I feel awful for what I said. And...and I put you all in danger. Back in the tunnel, when w-we were leaving..." He swallowed thickly, stomach churning as he thought about what could have happened. "When that...that hybrid thing made me fly, I freaked out. I was so angry and upset and I wanted them to hurt so I t-tried...I tried to make an image of...of the Overseer's mother. Her dying. A-and...if I h-had...if it had worked..." A shiver went up his spine and he looked away from Morganite for a moment, ashamed. Not only was he pulling them back but he was actively putting them in danger. He was a burden. That's what he was.

His eyes closed for a moment, the pain in his chest spiking for a moment. Useless. Unneeded. Waste. Burden. But he could fix those things, right? He could change. He took a shuddering breath and looked back at Morganite. "I know," he rasped. "I...we need to apologize to them. Once it's settled down. Me especially." He sighed under the soft touch and moved himself so that he was next to her, cuddled up against her warm belly, nested in by her legs.

At first he puffed himself up to nestled his head back, but then he ended up flopping over, resting his head on Morganite's belly, feeling much more comfortable pressed against her comfortable, familiar warmth. "I wanna get stronger," he chirped softly. "So I can be the one to protect you guys and so I don't have to feel like this anymore. Like I'm a waste of space." His eyes blinked shut, quickly cutting off tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. He was so sick of crying. He was so sick of this pain.

@Morganite

Her blood went cold. The scars on her rump tingled as she held Charles closer, ears pinning. If he'd done that... she wouldn't have a scar. She'd be a gemstone.

"... Charles," she mumbled, but stopped herself.

It wouldn't help. He already knew what he did and the guilt was eating him up already. It wouldn't help for her to confront him about it.

"Learn from your mistakes," she said, "That's how you grow stronger, Charles."

Morgan looked down and sighed, "I um... talked to Sora. I tried to tell her that her behavior was rude and that we have to change to adapt to life out here- but she didn't listen and she grew stubborn with me. She's clinging to what we had and it's blinding her. She's... she's gone, Charles. I don't know where."

She sniffled and fought back tears, head flopping onto the ground, "I hope the others are okay, wherever they are."

There were so few of them left... she could only grasp at who remained, hoping they'd stay with her. Hoping that she wouldn't mess it up like she already had.

"Sleep, Charles," she mumbled, "You desperately need it. As do I."

Morgan licked Charles' feathers, grooming as best she could before curling up around the bird, providing what comfort and safety she could. Hopefully it was enough.

@Charles

Charles tensed for a second, but then relaxed in Morganite's arms, relieved that he wouldn't have to endure a lecture about it, because she was right - he knew what he'd done wrong, he knew how horrible it had been and how much danger it had put all of them in, and if he had to listen to her tell him exactly how he'd screwed up...that would probably have been too much for him.

He looked up at her, however, when she talked about Sora, eyes widening with shock. "She's gone?" But should he be surprised? Sora was always stubborn. She was proud and determined and he loved her for that, but if she was determined to clutch onto the past then...that was the divide. "It's never going to be the same again." It was a truth that he had accepted during the Trial. Every since Tahlia had died, their lives were different. They weren't whole unless all of them were together. And so many of them were dead, some of them had broken away...there were just so few still sticking together.

He buried his head in Morganite's fur, tears spilling from his eyes - this time not tears of guilt or anger or the pain of death, but of mourning what had been lost. The family they'd had was forever broken, forever changed. And he'd never get back those days in the cave, always dreaming of the world outside. Always going on about the wonders they were going to see. Never considering that maybe the world outside was much worse then the one they knew. Because, at least in the cave, they had each other.

His tears this time were quiet, running down his feathers slowly. He was too tired to start sobbing again, so he simply nodded quietly, not trusting himself to speak, and curled into Morganite, allowing his mind to release its grip on consciousness, lulled into an uneasy sleep to the rhythm of his sister's tongue on his feathers.

*exit

@Morganite