ORIGIN

Envy scurried through Orion, the familiar scent of dust and old stone soothing them. They clutched a small jewel in their teeth, stolen from the Olympics as soon as the crowds had cleared. Envy, of course, had been more interested in what they could steal than what they could learn, and just seeing the passion and the sheer impressiveness of magic on display made them want to gag. It was so hard to look away, jealousy holding their gaze and making them drool. They wished that they'd taken part, but they knew in their heart of hearts that they were too little to be taken seriously, and that stupid wolf probably had it in the bag anyway.

At the end of the show, they scuttled away before the winners were called, anger and bitter tears seeping into their cheek fur as before their very eyes, Amras stole their magic.

Later, Envy had snuck in, and stolen the jewel that Kin-Kin had made. and now they carried it home, he only dull jewel in their collection, but shiny and glittering nontheless. They found their way back to a familiar crumbled wall, and wormed their way inside with a flash of a green-tinged tail. They put it with the others, and then returned to the entrance of their den, settling down outside and watching the familiar stream trickle by with a bored expression. They were surprised by how the den never seemed to get any tighter around their emaciated form, even though they wished hopelessly that one day they wouldn't fit.


Envy Speech.

After the Olympics course, which she had been disqualified from, Li had left the area. She thought about staying and seeing how Envy did, but she didn't feel like staying. It seemed like too many eyes were watching her, and she hadn't been able to handle it. So without a second thought, she had run off.

Now, she found herself in Orion. Enough time had passed that she figured the course was over. Was Envy still there then? Would they come over here? She hadn't seen them in so long...They had to be fully grown by now. Probably has been for at least a cycle now.

Walking along through the trails, she looked around. Envy was so little, it would be hard to find them. If they were even here. If they were, she'd have to hope they'd see her. So for now, she looked around, hoping she'd be able to find them easily. It's been too long.

"Li Speech." Envy Speech.

Envy had been sitting for a while, tail twitching slowly from side to side, when the sound of approaching pawsteps caused their head to shoot up. They looked around, lilac eyes blinking slowly, and watched a feline figure approaching. At first the weasel rose up onto their hind paws, watching warily. And then a rarely-seen look of surprise crossed their face.

They froze as the feline walked by, so close and so huge... and they couldn't help but feel their sad, jealous little heart sink and swell all at once. They sat completely frozen on their hind paws until Aaliyah had nearly passed them by and had begun to shrink on the road ahead, then they darted out from their hiding place like a green-tinged bullet, a blur of skin and bone and sinew. They pattered alongside her, putting on a burst of speed to catch up, their stubby legs carrying them surprisingly quickly into the path of the big cat.

"H-hey!" they called in a voice that was every bit as shrill as the day they'd met. A hint of despair managed to worm its way into their voice, although they fought not to let it show. "M-ma- I mean... Li...? I mean... Wait up!"

They were confused and their stomach was tight. They were nearly afraid, and they had no idea why. But suddenly Aaliyah's presence was everything; they craved the feel of her fur and her smell, and... Idiot, what are you doing?! You're being weak! Envy skidded to a halt just as they caught up to her long tail, just about to pounce and climb up to their place on her furry throne. Then they froze, undecided.

Suddenly embarrassed, they played for a moment with their tail and then began to skitter back to their den in a panic.


Envy Speech.

Li almost hadn't heard the shrill squeak of Envy. But they heard something, and turned around only to see the one they were looking for. "Envy! There you are! I've been looking all over for-wait. Where are you going?" While she had been talking, the weasel had turned tail and ran.

It didn't take much work for her to catch up to them, given their size differences. "Envy! Where're you going?" It was then that she noticed how they looked. Skinny, so, so skinny. She didn't like how they looked at all. The poor thing clearly hadn't actually eaten, using spells to keep them alive. She wondered how much longer that would last them.

She also noted that they looked...green. Perhaps by using that one spell so much? It was almost like they were...green with envy. She snorted slightly at that. How fitting.

"Li Speech." Envy Speech.

Envy skidded to a breakneck halt and darted into their den, scuttling in amongst their small hoard of glowing stones. But their face reappeared at the small opening a moment later, peering out at the cat, stunned shock clear in their eyes. "Y-you have?" they asked, and for the faintest moment they looked... pleased? Warm? Their lower jaw quivered. Embarrassment pushed their fur on end and they retreated again. "Wh-why would you do that?"

They sniffed slightly, and hesitated for a few long moments. They seemed reluctant, trying desperately to seem like they didn't care. But Aaliya was still out there. Her concern opened the floodgates. They didn't want her to go again. It wasn't fair. How were they supposed to feel? Instead of happiness, they were trying desperately to resist the shame, and they didn't understand why their throat felt so tight. Like always, Aaliyah seemed so content and happy, the polar opposite to them. Why?

Envy struggled to turn the conflict and embarrassment into something more manageable; anger. Though whether it was directed at themselves or Aaliyah or fate itself was unclear. One thing was certain; they were acting like a child again, small and snivelling, and they knew it.

"I'm not meant to feel like this. It's stupid and weak. Why won't it go away?

Envy Speech.

Li stopped as she watched Envy dart into a small hole in the crumbled wall, only to peek out later. "Of course I have! I haven't properly seen you in cycles." At their next question, she paused. "Why wouldn't I? Er-well. I know you p-probably don't need me anymore, but...I like knowing you're alive. Knowing I haven't completely failed as a mama."

As Envy spoke again after a moment of hesitation, she felt something inside her seem to break. Maybe she had failed. She'd been gone for too long. She hadn't wanted to be too close to them as they got older. Imperia always wanted her by their side, and she longed for and relished every moment of freedom she got. She didn't want Envy to be like that. But maybe she should have been around, at least watching...She had no idea what the weasel has even been up to.

"Hey. It's not stupid and it's not weak, okay? You're a brave one. I may not have seen you in a while, but from what I have...you're brave. It's true that you've hatched with...an unfortunate gem and placement but you've learned to overcome it!" She was desperate to find something that might cheer them up. But really, she had no idea what she was doing. She'd never really had to cheer someone up like this. She was just grasping at something, anything.

"Li Speech."

Envy opened their mouth to respond, but found that the words deserted them, their chest clenching taut. They coiled in discomfort, retreating into the darkness so that only a hint of their lilac eyes glistened out from the dark. They made a show of looking away to hide the bitter tears. "I don't need anyone anymore," they yelled shrilly, their voice rising inter bitter determination. "I'm gonna be the strongest in the cave one day! I'm gonna be king!"

They sniffed slightly as she used the word 'mama', taking in breath sharply and closing their eyes in a wince. Why did it hurt so much? They wanted Li here so badly, and yet here they were, hating and resisting every second of it. Li made them feel weak. She was big, powerful, unchanging. Who knew how old she was? They were just a tiny fragment of her long life and they remembered the struggle, of the day they'd first opened their eyes. When they'd been so tiny and weak and they just knew that they wouldn't have made it without her. They burrowed their way back into the den, a small whimper of embarrassment and humiliation emerging.

But they stopped as they heard her speaking again, words that made their eyes sting with tears, and amongst their hoard of baubled gems they curled into a tiny and pathetic ball, pawing at their leaky eyes with a vengeance. "It is! It is a-and I ha-ate it!" they choked out shakily. They raised their head as Li called them brave, though, although they knew she wouldn't be able to see. "I wish that this would stop. It's so hard b-being strong. I thought if I acted like Imperia I might look powerful. But Imperia and Amras and you, and Kin-Kin... they all look strong bacause they're so big. Everyone is so big, and strong...and... happy, too. Why do they deserve all that? What have I done that makes me like this? It's not fair! I can't even eat right!"

The sound of a hastily-stifled sob emerged.


Envy Speech.

Li flicked an ear as Envy retreated into their den, only their lilac eyes showing. She smiled slightly at their words, though she couldn't keep the sadness and pity. "Of course you will. You'll be the best king." Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to be encouraging the weasel, but she didn't know what to do. She had no idea how to be a mama. She wanted to do everything Imperia didn't do, to do the opposite of what they did, but this was just...so different.

Or maybe not. When she was young, she had been willing to do what Imperia wanted her to. She had been too young to understand it, but Imperia took advantage of that. They glorified it, made it seem like the two were the best in the caves. That they'd get rid of those were weak and become the strongest. That they'd be the rulers. Could something similar be happening to Envy? She really hoped not...But she had no idea who they had met while she was away.

As Envy continued speaking, she closed her eyes. Part of her felt as though she couldn't take this anymore. This right here, was proof she had failed. It had to be. Anyone would have been better at this than her. Maybe Imperia would have done a better job! Envy clearly wanted to be strong. Li was only strong because of Imperia. Much as she hated the caracal, they were good at some things. Looking strong and making someone else strong? They had that down.

Even Amras would have been better than her. He was someone who knew magic, something Envy was interested in. He even knew all different kinds of magic, while she just knew fire! And it was something that she refused to use. Too much damage had happened at her paws and mouth because of it, and she wasn't going to let it happen again if she had a say in it.

Opening her eyes at the sound of a sob quickly stifled, she sighed. How was she supposed to do this? "Envy..," she murmured quietly, followed by another sigh. "I'm sorry. You don't deserve any of this. I don't know why the caves have m-made you this way, and if I could I'd change it in a h-heartbeat. But you can be strong too! A-and happy!" Once more, she was grasping at whatever she could, trying desperately to find something she could use to cheer them up. But it wouldn't be enough, surely.

"Li Speech."

"I- you think-?!" Contrary to her intent, Li's words plunged Envy into even greater turmoil. In bittersweet joy, the little weasel sniffed back tears and struggled to assume a kingly grandeur. Slowly they emerged, clambering down several worn bricks and onto the ground. They puffed themselves up, standing tall and proud, and stomped a hind paw against the ground. "I mean, of course I will! One day, all of the caves will bow to me!"

At the touch of their magic, the earth crackled and hardened, and the weasel, chest swelling with a dull pulse of satisfaction, rose up to Aaliyah's eye level on a pillar of quartz. When the growth stopped, Envy looked around, seemingly stunned by how tall they felt.

As Aaliyah spoke again, Envy found all of the confidence and self-assuredness deserting them, a hard lump forming in their throat. They groomed the fur of their chest in quickening pace. They felt at first the sudden, and uncomfortable urge to comfort her, to say that maybe one day they'd be happy. Maybe they just hadn't hit their growth spurt yet. But that'd be childish, and weak! they were past all of that! they were strong! They didn't need her to tell them what they could be. "I am strong!" they yelled, voice wavering and then cracking. Before they could stop themselves, their vision blurred with tears. The weasel frantically looked around but from their solitary pillar, there was no way down. instead, they turned their back on their mamma, and buried their face in their paws, sobbing hysterically in a series of choked chirps.

"I-don't-w-want-this." they heaved out, still sobbing like the jealous child they still were inside. I-don't-want-you-here... it-hurts... too m-m-much!"

They choked on another sob. "Y-you-make-me... feel t-too weak... ma--...!"

They stopped themselves, covering their face with tiny paws and trembling silently, their back still to the cat. Finally, they raised their head slightly, but didn't look at her.

"Y-you shouldn't care. You're t-too-strong-to... stoop to this level..."


Envy Speech.

Li blinked as she listened to Envy. They seemed unsure that they would be king. which...was understandable, as they were rather..tiny. But she watched as, with a strike of a paw against the ground, they began to rise up on a pillar of quartz. As they spoke again, she sighed. "Yes, you are strong. Of course."

With that, they quickly turned around. She was about to say something, perhaps nudge them onto her head, when they spoke. Her blood seemed to freeze as she heard her fears confirmed. "E-envy, I..." What could she even say? She was clearly doing more harm than good to the weasel. They were better off without her - they'd even said so! She was strong, much stronger than the tiny emaciated weasel, and it made Envy feel terrible. It was probably better that she just...left. Allow Envy to do what they want, and not feel so weak around her.

"If...if you really want me to leave," she paused, looking away from Envy just as they'd done to her, "then I s-suppose I can. Just - if you do want me to leave, know that I still care about you. I'll always care about you."

"Li Speech."