old friends and new - echoes of wishes

A flare of magic flowed through them, past them. One Zoey had known. One foreign to Juggernaut, a fleeting concept of other, far removed from his Order power. Much farther than the light of Zoey, it felt like the glow of a distant star that could--if it so wished, and it would not--burn.

Instead, it offered a promise.

A whisper of possibility, but only a fraction of what it could have been. Still... it could be something. They had only a flash of time. No chance to discuss. No long minutes of soft debate, or calculation. Only this moment, a whim, the instinct to guide the spark of magic toward a gift. Would they choose something the other truly would like, adore, fall in love with, respect, feel forever grateful for? Or would their gift be a mistake, a misstep, well-intentioned but easily forgotten?

There was no time for second-guessing. Each of them felt it: the offer, for that split second, of making something come true for their companion.

__________

Each Gembound has only an instant to decide upon a Wish for their thread partner. While the players are free to discuss OOCly, the Gembounds themselves are the ones making this Wish: it should not use out-of-character information but should instead reflect the intent and beliefs of the Wish-makers.

Please GM tag a second time to have a Game Master confirm that all Wishes are viable.

@Zoey @Juggernaut

Zoey would have recognized the magic that reached them now, if it was not for the gift that very magic had given her: the memory of its previous visit was little more than a strange sensation of deja vu, one that she could not pinpoint. She had tucked that away to protect her Master and the Forge, not knowing how deep the fungus would reach into her mind or how deep she would reach back.

Her breath hitched. There was a fear of misstep-- a sensation that the Juggernaut would feel. There were details that still remained unknown to her about the Hive, and so when the Juggernaut insisted that they could not die, vocally, verbally, words that she simply could not believe... it all came back to the same dream. The same wish.

To be understood.

Despite not wanting to hurt Juggernaut, the split second force pulled at her deepest desires. In that moment, Zoey wanted him to know the truth about life and death. How everything died to feed another force, and how life was fleeting but it was in those fleeting moments that beauty-- true beauty, clumsy and desperate and full of hope, could thrive against the odds. It was not something that she understood to be contradictory to the Hive: they, too, were a family. They faced impossible odds, and as death reigned down on them, they had one another. Was it not enough to live a life, however short, to improve the future for the ones who came after? It was not infinity that was kind-- infinity was cold and endless and unchanging-- but the touch of hundreds of small souls changing each other, neurons firing like little dying stars to know love.

It was a horrible truth. She knew it was. It was worth knowing, worth hanging over one's head like a guillotine ready to crush-- her entire purpose was to know that death and live a life worth living in spite of it.

It was even more horrible to wish that Juggernaut knew independence: to know who HE was, to know what HIS life meant, that his actions alone touched her in ways that no one else would. It was beautiful, and precious, and wholly his-- the Hive could not take that from him, just as she thought it could not take it from her.

But even as the guilt of her selfish wish tightened around her throat, dull and choking, was nothing compared to the surge of earnest, raw emotion. A wildfire erupting to turn everything to ash, to let new life flourish. To live is to grow, to change, to break, be broken, and rebuild. She couldn't place the face of that wildfire-- a miasma of swirling colors that didn't truly settle into anything recognizable... But she knew that sometimes, that pain could be inflicted not out of spite or hate, but out of love.

Zoey knew true love to be messy, and complicated, and so often ugly.

Nothing like Mother's love at all, really. Not that either of them could know-- not until now, not unless the wish magic shattered that barrier.

@Juggernaut - ho boy

Juggernaut could only walk down the length of this barrier, to see how far it led, if it ever ended. It grieved for Zoey. They had lived on the outskirts for all their life, could they learn to know anything else? This was their love, and though it was different from his, it felt just as powerful. A pity that it could never matter in the end. It would try its best to save them.

An alien weight crashed down upon them, as if summoned by the stalemate. It was not Mother. It was terrifying. He had felt something like it before.

The stakes of this encounter had been infinitely multiplied in a moment. The last time he’d been asked to make this choice he’d left permanently altered, and as the spotlight burned his skin he fixed his gaze (his physical one) on the Zoisite. Her life was in his hands this time, and despite their unfamiliarity, this made things desperately worse.

The beach - the sound of drone fleshing tearing - the feel of it coming apart on his exoskeleton - he could not fail again. But what else was he capable of without Mother guiding his hand? He was a shell, a vessel left empty, it was unfair for this power to put its faith in-

The clock is ticking. He cannot let time slip away.

He stared at Zoey, a small, insistent echo of what he clung to, and all that stood in its opposition. He knew that if he did nothing to stop it, she would wither and die, a brief spark of light in these rotten caves. You could come with me. You could be immortal. He wished, prayed, hoped beyond hoping, that she would be preserved in memory like he would be. That she too, could know there is a family for her at the end of it all, that existence could be a harmony of light and warmth if she simply entertained the thought. Mother could be her shepherd.

But maybe, regardless of the heresy, she could be saved as she was. Exist in perpetuity, in some form, as Mother had promised him - but without submitting what she was to Her vision. Maybe. And in that world, maybe they could be family anyways.

But through this connection, nothing was kept private, and in that passing moment he noticed the echoes of her mind. The decision she made for him.

What have you done?

@Zoey :)

old friends and new - echoes of wishes

The nature of these two wishes, paired in this moment, was tragedy. Not because of the desires expressed, but rather, the fulfillment of them together.

Zoey, first. A snippet of knowledge was granted to her. Immortality, of a sort: the type that Juggernaut knew, would be given to her. Not infinite, not yet. Perhaps if she chose so, should she die and be resurrected--no, reprinted--as intended: a copy of the Zoey of here and now--then she could Iterate further. But from here, no further experiences that she gained would be added to this memory. She had been stored, uploaded, a magic scan of her mind and being--experiences and current memory--laid within the Hive in the form of a single Clearstone. Not even Mother knew quite where this stone was, not yet. This was to prevent tampering. An early resurrection. No: this was one embedded deep within the dark halls of an unused tunnel, to be brought to light if and when Zoey died.

But that Zoey would be a travesty, and she'd know that now: lacking the memories her Key had kept safe for her; missing any experiences between now and her death. A snapshot, not a copy. An impression of her. It was something, but it was not and never would be her. Still... perhaps within the Hive, a version of Zoey could do some good.

---

...A truth now passed on to Juggernaut, as his consciousness faded from this plane. The visions that followed seemed to last long minutes, but in truth, passed in merely seconds.

He was frozen in time, peering into a finely appointed parlor. Two men in suits sat on comfortable chairs before a fire, pipes at the ready, drinks in tumblers on small tables at their sides. The stuffed head of a deer was mounted above that roaring fireplace, and thick rugs and a smoky interior placed this--though Juggernaut could not know this--quite some time before "doritos" in Earth's history.

"Have you heard of Theseus's Paradox?" asked the first man, sitting back and tapping his pipe.

"I have not?" said the second, sipping from his drink just after.

"They say that the Athenians commemorated Theseus's escape from Athens by taking his ship on its old journey every year. Consider this ship: ancient, in need of repairs, naturally."

"Naturally."

"Each year the sails are replaced, as one would expect. But in time so must the aging mast, and the rotting deck-boards. In time the planking of its sides, the cladding, the prow and its figurehead. Now imagine," the man continued, taking a long mouthful of pipe-smoke, puffing it out again, "that all the pieces have been replaced. The paradox asks, is it the same ship?"

The second man thought about this, and scoffed. "Of course. It still bears the name, doesn't it? And it is more about the purpose of the thing, after all."

The first man smiled. "You always have been a practical sort, John, but then consider Hobbes' addition to the question. Let us say a dock-worker kept all of the replaced pieces: the original sails and rotten mast, the old figurehead... And in time they are put back together to make a second ship. Is that not, now, the true Ship of Theseus? And then, what of the first... the one of replaced parts?"

John frowned, thinking with furrowed brow. "You know I'm a practical sort, yes, so I suppose you know my answer? One is simply the original and no longer functional. The second is the ship as pertains to shipping lanes and berths and the like."

The first man laughed delightedly. "It is good to see a strong mind with simple answers tackling these questions. Now, what if that dockworker loved this ship dearly? Loved it for what it was," and here this man turned, looking directly at Juggernaut; "what if he adored every broken plank and moth-eaten sail? What if he cared for them, maintaining them as best he could and then one day, his old vessel--filled with his longstanding love for it--was gone from its dock, and replaced with the second, newer vessel? How would he feel, do you think? After all, that original is one-of-a-kind, and now it is gone forever..."

His voice trailed off, as did his face, and John's, and the parlor, swirling into gray nothing. From that gray nothing came a march of Drones, of Hive, moving through an icy tunnel. They were Juggernaut's allies: Ananke and Pallas, Ace and Siren and Orthus and Scorn and Elysium and Alcina-... but none of them were them. They were copies. Reprints. Ships with parts all replaced. As the second man had said: for practical purposes they were the same.

Yet Juggernaut would be granted this knowledge, here and now: the knowledge of Hive's lie. They were not the same. They were assembled of other parts and pieces. Granted a mere copy of memory.

That which was beloved in them, loved... they could imitate it. They could even--truly and honestly--embrace it, and be much like the original. But the originals were dead. And they would never be coming back.

...Perhaps he knew this already. Perhaps none of this was new knowledge, shocking in its revelation. Maybe he'd already come to terms with it.

But what did it mean, that he had just inflicted this upon Zoey? And he had; and he would know this.

...Ahh, but it was not finished. Not quite yet. A final little whisper through his consciousness, and he saw a thousand unnamed, intimate moments of friendship between a thousand sentient creatures. Gembounds and Drones, Valkhounds and creatures from beyond any nests or caves. Each time they met it was like a light igniting, gently changing those whom they met, spreading in blinking and tenuous bonds throughout the cosmos.

Each of those rotten ships, doomed to sink and be discarded, were nonetheless remembered and beloved. Each light, carried and passed on to another. That was, as Zoey tried to Wish him to understand, a bittersweet beauty of reality: that all things were ephemereal. They came and went and were beloved and were lost. That was their value: their unique nature, one of a kind and then gone forever. They were beloved for who they were, by those who held those lights with them.

And Zoey saw that value within him. He had lit within her a glimmering little light that she carried, and he would not be forgotten.

---

Zoey is given a single revival, after death, into the Hive. Should she die, she will be reborn as a Clearstone drone within Ursa's hive. She will only have the memories that she bore as of this moment in this thread.

Juggernaut has been given a vision of a philosophical discussion.

@Juggernaut @Zoey

What have you done?

It was a question that seemed to echo, agonizingly, through both of their minds. Zoey was granted one small fragment of knowledge: of a copy of her mind snatched away, tucked away to be reborn once she died. The image of Clearstone, tucked away far away from where she could never reach it, made her feel as though the floor had collapsed under her and a great, gaping cavern swallowed her whole.

It was a subtle thing, outwardly. Zoey's grip had tightened around her gift to Juggernaut out of reflex: a tension that locked her claws down. She wasn't present enough to realize it. The only thing she could physically feel in the moment was the quiver of thousands of quills down her belly. The rattling sound they made drowned out the sound of her own heart's beat. She did not otherwise move, did not otherwise flinch or recoil: she stood there, golden eyes staring without seeing.

... what would happen to the Hive-Zoey? There were so many blank spots in her memory-- her past self had promised her that she would get them back, that it was to protect her family... But this new, Hive-Zoey, that was--... She was-- it was like a daughter she could never know. Panic rose in her throat, a wild empty sensation that brought forth a clawing desperation that tore at her insides. Something was wrong, something was very, very wrong, she didn't know-- she couldn't explain the sudden wave of fear that surged over her. It felt irrational, and it was completely impossible to understand with the memories she had. The-- The Hive-Zoey, would she feel this terror too?

Tears stung her eyes.

She did not understand despite wanting to understand. She had wished for him to understand, and found herself drowning in a black sea of nothingness. There was only one thing she could do-- and it took great effort to not swallow her own tongue in the process.

"... please tell me," she rasped, "please tell me you understand."

Zoey felt like a child clinging to her ██████, helpless and small and so very frightened by the shadows that rose up around her.

@Juggernaut

He felt the air shift as his will was made manifest, the weight of the act settling slowly. He had found the answer, the middle ground - should Zoey have to fall, it would not be in vain. Mother would approve, even though she hadn’t been there to guide his unsteady hands. But it felt like a betrayal. He did not know of who, or why. The emptiness sank into his insides, lingering. He did not address it, and it allowed itself to go ignored. That is where it would stay.

But now the world warped around him, and he was forced to confront that he, nor Mother, were in control of his fate.

The space hugged tightly around Juggernaut, the claustrophobia instant and animal. The warmth and smoke scraped against its lungs, the walls alien, designed in a way it could not understand. And the focus of this vision was stranger still. Were they Gods? Dontaceal’s kin? This could not be his doing. He would not endorse this tiny hell.

Paradox. Athenians. Ship. What. It followed as best as it could.

A ship was something of many components (Like a wagon?). Each would degrade with time. And yes, it would be the same ship if the original components remained. It felt a flush of anger - of course it’d be the same. What use was clarifying that? It felt patronised by extension. It wanted out.

The discussion continued, relief washing over when it felt its perspective was represented, at least in part. Purpose is what mattered - purpose could outlive all things. Two ships - same answer.

It liked John. He might not have been aware of Her, but in spirit he understood the will of the Hive. Her love was their love, and through her it was eternal, unshaking. Unbound by the physical.

And then the man turned to the drone, and he was ripped away from his faith. Two, tiny eyes held him down. And silently, the curtain was ripped away.

Maybe she had lied to him, but maybe he had lied to himself first. Told himself that as bad as he damaged the world around him, that there would always be someone to pick up the pieces. That his failures didn’t really matter, nor did his victories. He could stand in opposition to the things all others declared as natural, beautiful. He could yell at the top of his lungs that no, he was different, the family he loved were different. Transcendent. Even when they bled and died all the same.

And they didn’t have to be his words. He’d speak someone else’s mind, because even if he had one of his own… It’d never amount to much. Here, alone in this revelation, he was at his weakest. There was no one to hide behind.

The fear set in - not his. The grief, the panic, it rattled through Zoey and into his own guts, causing it to retract the tendril he had extended instinctually. He stiffened with the suddenness, the slamming of the door, as if he’d surprised himself with the movement. The stinger hovered in the air, unrestrained. He considered it. Mother would be home soon, and for once he had no idea what that meant for him. Would he just… Forget? Could he ever forget?

It all felt irreparable. ”She… I… “

”You should’ve died.”

And maybe he should’ve too.

And maybe there could be a version of them that wouldn't have to.

@Zoey

Juggernaut tore his tendril out of her grasp, and suddenly there was a ravine that stretched between them. A horrible sensation of vertigo, as though if she leaned forward to try and catch him she would fall, and fall, and fall into endless, horrible, abyss.

His answer, when it came, entered her ears and rattled around in her brain and she... grasped at it, like trying to collect sand in her talons. It just slipped through.

You should've died.

Did he mean now, or back in the battle, or when he had attacked her last time, or any other moment-- did he want her dead? Or did he feel as though she had escaped death, and that was some horrible crime? Maybe he did hate her. Maybe he should hate her. Was it wrong for him to want her dead after all of this? Was it wrong for her to have wished for him to know something as terrible as how selfish she was? Who was in the wrong, and was it her or both of them or--

"... is that what you wished for?" It was the only thing she could think to ask. Her mind continued to race, to find meaning and understanding and common ground, but the gulf that stretched between them now simply grew, and grew, and grew.

... and she would never know what would become of her future-clone. She did not dare-- in that moment-- to ask anything more of Juggernaut.

@Juggernaut

Emptiness yawned before him, in the space between his body and hers. It only seemed to grow. Maybe it was just him moving further and further away. His threads wore thin, the connections that had tied him to these caves growing more and more muffled. He was coming apart. He was a dead man standing.

And he could hide behind the feathered curtain, his muscles stiff and his eyes glazed over. For once this felt private, isolated. Like nothing else in the world could reach him. The waving rushing to shore didn't matter yet.

(He felt a dream begin to fade.)

It was strange that they could cry and it couldn't. Maybe it'd never been taught how. It could only stare, and choke out its words through a windpipe not designed for them. "No." He hadn't, he hadn't and now it'd be his undoing. He couldn't move. He wouldn't dare.

@Zoey

Her magic reached out for him and found emptiness: hollow, and cold, and tired.

... what had she done to him?

Juggernaut's answer was strained, as most of his words had been. It was selfish to ask, selfish to demand, selfish to insist that he speak even as he recoiled further and further into himself.

It was like looking at -- Zoey didn't remember. When she died, the Zoey that would be born wouldn't remember its mother either.

"Then what did you...?" She started, and stopped, "Do you mean it? That I should die? You-- your wish-- there's another..." Too many questions, too many thoughts, all spilling forward in a mess. Her mind grasped for straws and came up with a nothingness that she couldn't take.

Desperation changed her low, gravelly voice into something that cracked, wheezing into a pitch it did not normally reach. "Please, I want to understand," she pleaded.

@Juggernaut

Breathing was getting harder, air getting caught and stuck, scraping against its ragged throat. She kept on talking. It wanted her to stop, it thought it did. The thin wail of a petulant child, this is her fault. It too grew distant as Juggernaut left the orbit of its own head.

She'd been no different, clinging to his hide like the oil she'd come from. Like all of them did. She had poisoned him, sunk beneath his armour, and he had done nothing to cleanse or purify himself before it was too late. He couldn't. He still couldn't move.

"There is no going back. There is no moving forward." The word mistake lurched forward, but snapped to something inside before it could leave him, trapped there. He was not a liar.

She had a chance to escape this, to run away and forget about all that happened here. That empty promise could gather dust in whatever corner it was kept. She could live in gleeful heresy, but Juggernaut? He would never leave Canis. This was it. This was where he died - whatever that meant. Wherever that led him.

(There was a spark of warmth, brief and bright. Two lights danced and disappeared, sent far, far away to safety. There would be something left at the end of it all.)

@Zoey