Totally ignoring the implications of everything the Collector had said to him, one thing had stuck out -- an explanation of a new expression of his magic. Seeing through fungus. The idea felt similar to things he'd done before, but... not. He'd tried to imagine what the fungus wanted and go from there, but... hadn't Madhukar proven to him that it didn't work like that?

Still, Tahi-shei didn't know any other way to learn spells, and this one especially seemed to be in some way sacred. Tahi was in Polaris again, mostly because it was a place where magic seemed to be easier due to the latent energy, and he'd made sure that there were no golems around to harass him. The spike was curled up like a fawn, wedged against a stone with his chin resting on top of it. There was a grove of glowing mushrooms spiraling up the wall nearby, and one directly in front of his nose.

He closed his eyes and breathed in gently. He wanted to see like it saw. He wanted to know what it knew. And more importantly, Tahi-shei wanted to be one with the fungus.

What did the fungus feel? Tahi-shei's heartrate mellowed as he began to breathe in rhythm. He considered the life cycle of fungus -- from the spore grows mycelium, and the mycelium spreads, slowly. Spreading its nearly-nonexistent veins through the rock and soil. Anywhere there is a surface, a nutrition, and a means. Determined and resilient, the mycelium moves. It has a desire, a need. It exists to propagate, to create, to fruit. The mycelium is truly the heart of the fungal body, the stone, the core. It needs to quiet itself, move through any obstacle, and find a place to continue.

The mycelium is unwavering. Determined. Willing to make hard decisions. Anything in the name of survival, he thought, considering them heavily. Then there was the fruit -- the mycelia would begin to grow proper fungus. And what did the fungus do? Some types nourished. They gave and gave and gave. Spores were given, life was given, unity was given. Some types destroyed. They killed those who fed upon them, and fed on their bodies in turn. They manipulated flesh, bone, oil, stone -- they took it for themselves, and they worked with it, fed upon it, grew from it. Their spores were spread by decay and their mycelium sought out difference. But both of them were simply trying to survive. Both types simply wished to keep persisting.

Which one am I? he thought absently, in the way that a meditating creature discovered thought -- like an insect found sunrise. There, but not quite a fact. Am I mycelium, or am I fungus? And if I'm fungus, which side do I fall under? Am I a whitecap or a toadstool? How do I want to see the world?

Tahi didn't have an answer. He wanted to be kind. The pain of others stung him as though it was his own, but he had a shadow in his heart and he was aware that by forgoing kindness, one could become in some ways more powerful. While you might lose allies, no regard for collateral damage and a willingness to take what you needed could make a creature powerful beyond belief. But wasn't kindness a truer strength? No matter how powerful a single Gembound was, couldn't a large enough group overtake them?

Maybe. Tahi-shei was fairly sure that he was just... too young to really be able to be anything dangerous. So many creatures in the Caves were bigger, older, and stronger. The oldest creatures in the caves were sixty-something cycles old, with that much more experience than him. What could he really do? Bully creatures smaller than him? Needing to prey on the weak was a symbol of one's own weakness. His eyes opened for a moment, and Tahi-shei sighed heavily. He'd gotten distracted.

Slowly, he steadied his breathing again, and closed them once more.

He hummed softly as he drifted back into his meditation, focusing on the way his breath and his pulse felt against the stone his own body heat had warmed. The gentle, earthy smell of the fungus just beyond his snout. The comforting weight of magic in the air, which had once felt oppressive but now felt almost like home. He considered Polaris too dangerous to live in, but it was certainly a nice place to visit.

Tahi-shei returned his attention to the mushrooms. What sorts of senses did they have? They were aware of moisture, light, and damage. Could they feel pain? He didn't see any reason why not. Tahi-shei extended his considerations -- why had raw, unfiltered magic, presumably born of the Spire, warped itself into something reflective of this fungus. What was special about it? Did the magic purely reflect aspects of the caves, like pressure and water and fire and earth, or was there something more to it? Something deeper?

Tahi had no answer for this question, either, but still tried to seek solutions. Then, he realized perhaps what he should have all along -- maybe the fungus could answer him instead. Tahi-shei realized that whenever he spoke to a Gembound, a living thing, he did not assume things about them. He asked questions. Yet here he was, making assumptions of another living thing, of a thing consumed by magic that he knew held a strange power all its own. He breathed in deeply and thought about how he would make a communion with the fungal blooms all around him.

I want to know what answers you have, he thought, in much the same way he had when Pride had tried to connect with him telepathically. Not that the fawn could cast the same spell, but the effort was still there in some way. I want to see what you see. Maybe I should give you an offering? Most creatures would not offer something for nothing. Everything had a price -- the Collector had made that clear, although Tahi-shei moved on from thoughts of the creature quickly so as not to spoil this.

He reached out with his magic, trying to visualize it moving out like a cloud of spores. Tahi-shei focused on the way spores settled into the ground and their mycelium spread, imagining soft magic doing the same. He thought about how the steady crawl of fruiting bodies would rise up, creating fungus that reached out and begged to propagate.

Tahi-shei knew without opening his eyes that the spell had failed, but he did not despair so much. Madhukar had helped him realize just how fickle magic was, and while normally he would have transitioned to getting angry, he was trying to do something specific. He was going to keep trying.

No matter. I want to ask you questions like I would any living thing. The fungus. The mycelium. I want to learn what my magic means. I want to see like you see and breathe like you breathe. I want to figure this out. A warm-up could only be a good thing. He felt his stone beating in his chest as an artificial heart, and let the magic seep out of it. Fungal Wake. He could do this.

Mushrooms began to grow around him, framing his body. Whitecaps and toadstools were evenly interspersed. I've been trying to take just the white or just the red, but there's nuance, isn't there? Magic is more than just one thing or the other. Both are fungus. Everything harmless and everything harmful. It all takes in decay and gives off life. It all propagates. It all grows. Just like Madhukar's magic is powerful and unrestrained, it always has a place to go. Life is a matter of nuance, isn't it? Is that what you're trying to show me?

It wasn't an answer he liked, but Tahi-shei had a feeling it was the one coming.

Dimly, distantly, Tahi-shei almost swore he heard something whispering to him. He strained towards that sound, feeling distinctly like he was the fungus. He was a living, breathing thing, straining towards light or moisture or the decay which would bring life. He was born of magic and stone, fickle Lord Fate overlooking him. He was one with these fungal blooms, wasn't he? Wasn't his magic just an extension of theirs?

Tahi-shei slowly, steadily became aware of his surroundings as though his eyes were open. Light, dimly visible. He could... not taste and certainly not smell, but feel moisture in the air. He knew like it was a part of him where he ought to turn to find water, but somehow, felt rooted in place. Maybe I should release spores towards it, he thought faintly, in a space that almost wasn't thinking but was more like breathing.

He could sense decay around him. A Lesser elsewhere in the cave, withering away, but while Tahi-shei saw that as death, the fungus saw it as new life. New breath. A new experience. Like Tahi needed food and water to survive, the fungus craved decay. Meat and Oil nourished the mycelium and the fungus bloomed.

Life came from decay.

His eyes opened. An acerbic taste was still in his mouth, but he realized with a sharp jolt of excitement that he'd done it. Tahi-shei had seen like the fungus saw. He'd used a new spell! He stood up and paced in a tight circle, thinking about the implications of this. He could survey large areas now, sure, but that wasn't even the half of it -- he had a much better understanding of his place in the caves now. Maybe another spell could teach me to see through mycelium?

The fawn sighed and smiled brightly. With a new skill in tow, he began his journey back to Orion -- he couldn't wait to tell one of his friends about this.

> exit tahi